Tuesday, December 8, 2009


This is a post I intended to write around Thanksgiving...but due to me having a disdain with all things corny (or at least 'corny in my eyes'), I decided to pass on that. But now, with Christmas virtually around the corner, I figured this was a perfect opportunity to post.

First, I would like to explain something about Christmas. I know the TRUE intent of the holiday has been all pimped out and commercialized for the sake of capitalism, but truthfully, I still partake in the festivities anyway. However, I still do not lose focus in celebrating life, family and friends...and of course being thankful for the Creator blessing me. See, I have many, many dark days...and at times I feel that I'm cursed with demons aplenty. Yet, I know that I have been blessed with more gifts than I know what to do with from the Most High, and they more than offset my shortcomings. People always ask what do I want for Christmas (and this also applies for birthdays), and my answer is always the same: "Nothing." It's what I mean. I don't need any gift of tangible affection to make my day complete; for God has ensured that I am able to utilize my gifts on a daily basis to benefit others, which benefits me because it is what the Creator wants...and nothing can compare to that.

Secondly, allow me to say THANK YOU. Whether it's because you read & react to my writing, or because I can text or call you at all hours of the night if I so desire, or because you extend the olive branch in my direction time and again...or if you simply just wish for me to do well in my personal life. Thank you. I can't really explain where I've been as of late...not on here, but mentally, emotionally, and in some cases, in person (Disappearing Acts)...but what I can say is that despite my penchant for isolation, I always knew that I wasn't alone. I have friends who are genuinely in my corner, and they withstand my standoffish tactics without wavering. So I'm going to name off a few names...and really hope I don't forget anyone...and if I do, you can either feel free to call me out on it, or understand that it wasn't done intentionally in the least. The thing about calling me out on it, I wouldn't mind at all...but if you aren't one of those people I was talking about, then you'll be told that too. The irony is that some of these people I've never met face-to-face in life, but we have a crazy connection...either that makes me weird, or that makes me supremely fortunate to have friends across the map. I consider the latter to be true.

*In no specific order....except for the first one*

Heather - Of course, my best friend til something stronger than death do us part. You're here when no one is...and probably don't even realize it. Time isn't always kind to us when it comes to hanging out or catching up, but your timing is always perfect in having my back. I can only hope that I have yours as well as you always have mine. Love you.

Jessica - My ratchet little sister not born by my parents...what would I do without you? (Besides worry less, threaten lightskinned weak niggas less, besides not gassing up the Chevy only to be told that I don't have to come and act a fool, besides not being able to be proud at seeing growth first-hand, besides...yeah, you get the point. What would I do?) I'm appreciative of you, and you always keep it honest and thoughtful. Love you for that. Now tell me if that 'guy' opened the door for you or not...*loads handgun*

Keana - Despite having concrete differences that may have come between lesser people, me and you still rock w/ each other. I've never been one to believe in Astrology like that, you've never been one to believe in God like that...but we don't knock each other for it, and respect each other's views. You are truly a "brutiful" soul wrapped in a custom print Snuggie while fixing up a Patron and Pineapple for Lucifer...

Tiffany Marie - You are probably the most full of life go-getter I have ever met. And you singlehandedly proved that my thoughts aren't far-fetched in the least. When my confidence was a bit shaken, you kinda strong-armed me into believing in myself again.You have no idea what that means to me. Love you Twinkletoes.

Teef - My supposed D.C. doppleganger, lol...we share a lot of the same issues, usually down to the letter. Some true ESP stuff, and our friendship has benefitted both of us...in a therapeutic way and in a skill-development sense. [sidebar: Not known to many, me and Teef always lock into these spirited 'competitions', where we're trying to 'one-up' the other while writing...so we just shit talk, analyze and send multiple emails back and forth...all in the name of improving and trying to shit on bringing the other up at the same time.] Past that, when I'm feeling like nobody understands (even if they say that they do), I know that you know what the deal is...usually without even speaking on any of it until much later. And you know I'm waiting for that heat, fam...don't make me hire Diddy for 5 minutes of his life to just stand in the corner by the DS boxes and Autotune "Let's Go" until you kill him over a Biggie verse.

Danyelle - My dearest Danyelle. Words can't even describe how much I appreciate you or how I feel. And you know I don't try to grasp at straws...so I won't. =o)

Kisha + Bre' - You two's persistence (that you may feel is a nuisance at times) is a nuisance at times, lol...but a welcomed one nonetheless...if that made any sense. I appreciate + love both of you. (Kisha, I love you more than Bre'ana...but don't tell her, she's violent.)

Tris, Kirby, Jevon, Veronica, Aunt Rita, Britney, Darius, Hosanna, Thomas, Syn, Twin, Al, Ant Geezy, etc. etc. etc...Some roles are small, and some are larger than others. But still...I appreciate all of it.